5 things you’ll forget other than your kids on your first day skiing this year
By a Grumpy Young Man

Hey, what do you know. We got some snow. You know what that means, don’t you? If you were the type that was holding out for natural snow to finally go skiing, well you don’t have any excuses any more. It’s here, which means it’s time to go.

You haven’t dug out any of your equipment out of the basement yet, have you? Your skis are still collected in the corner of your garage covered in saw dust from all the big important house projects you did this summer, aren’t they? Well get yourself motivated, clean that stuff up and get going.

Of course in your infinite and unbridled excitement to make your first tracks this year, you’re inevitably going to forget some things about skiing, the same things you forget every year. Not things like how to turn or step into your bindings. But things like, “Oh yeah, I forgot to clean out my jacket and I found treasure trove worth of lift tags and lunch receipts. I wonder if I can sell those on Craigslist?”

On that note:

1) Check all your pockets of your jackets, your pants, even the little pocket on the back of your gloves that is way to small to put anything into but for some reason the glove manufacturer thought it was a good idea. There is, without fail, a $5 bill in one of those pockets. You obviously have no idea how Mr. Lincoln ended up there or why you would have ever used that pocket, but it doesn’t matter. That’s good for a coffee at Dunk’s on the way to and from the mountain. It’s like an accidental gift from yourself to yourself. “Hey man, I appreciate you. Here’s five dollars for coffee next year.”

2) Make sure you empty your bag of left-over socks from the previous year(s). There’s nothing worse than thinking you have fresh socks in your bag when you get to the mountain only to find that the only socks you do have are so caked in crusty, salty, stiffness that they are completely incapable of wicking any moisture anymore. Plus they kind of smell and everyone knows you're a disgusting person who doesn’t wash their socks.

3) Take a warm-up run. Unless you’re 15 years old and are indestructible, for the love of God and all that is holy, take a warm-up run. Going Mach 4 on your first run of the season is a sure fire way to destroy your body. You don’t have your ski legs yet. So just chill for a minute.

4) You won’t make it until 4 p.m. your first day out. Not no way, not no how. You’re going to make it to noon, come in for lunch and have two to three runs left in you. So if someone is trying to make plans with you for 3 p.m. that day and you say you can’t because you’re skiing; call them back. You’ll be home in plenty of time.

5) Don't drink too much après ski. You have to get home and Über doesn’t go to Franconia.